7 Ways to Overcome Self-Defeating Behavior

December 26, 2022|Animal Lovers and Med Team, Personal Growth, Self Development, Self Help, Self Mastery
We can commonly think that most of our struggle or problems come from around the external—a complaining spouse, a controlling boss, a road-raging driver—but rarely do we acknowledge the obvious truth of the matter: we can often be our own worst enemies. Here are a few ways to stop self-defeating behavior.

1: Be alright letting go of victory.

It’s nice to win, but you don’t have to win all the time. The desire for victory can often lead a person to continue blindly along a path of foolishness, wastefulness, and recklessness. On the other hand, sometimes if you let the battle go and you will win an even better prize of peace and harmony instead. The lesson is often better than the victory.

2: Stop trying to please everyone.

You cannot make everyone happy all of the time. Now, I am not saying to ignore the feelings of others, because you should care enough about how your words, thoughts, and actions affect those around you. However, understand the difference between healthy relationships and people pleasing. Rushing around and trying to please other people is a huge cause unhappiness and is a huge self-defeating behavior. Whether you’re doing it at work or in your personal relationships, trying to make everyone happy all the time can cost you your health and peace of mind.

3: Accept imperfection.

If you continuously seek perfection, you will never find complete happines because perfection is an illusion and does not truly exist. Can you imagine great artists like Michelangelo continuing to work and work on the Sistine Chapel, because it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted it? Nothing would ever get done! Imperfection is part of being human, and most of the time, you’re the only one who will notice your mistakes anyway. Give yourself permission to be you, just as you are.

4: Eliminate bad habits.

Everyone has bad habits. A very common bad habit relates to technology, like obsessively checking ones email or social media accounts. Take stock of how you spend your time. Make a detailed log of the minutes and hours, and see how much time you might be wasting with various pursuits. Then decide to change them.

5: Overcome fear.

Fear is something that is meant on a deep subconcious level to protect us from harm. While it is necessary to be fearful of actual danger, fear is something that will hold most people back from living a higher purpose. You can’t fly if you don’t jump, and you can’t jump if you’re afraid. Start by observing your feelings directly. Fear doesn’t necessarily have to present as an obvious anxiety or worry... sometimes it may be disguised simply such as avoidance.

6: Stop being a lone wolf.

This is a hard one, especially if you like being alone or if you have endured alot of trauma wounds from others. Regardless of the reason you thrive on your own, everybody needs help sometimes. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it, because a severe, self-imposed sense of independence could actually be doing you more harm than good. Whether it’s in business or personal life, make friends, accept help, and seek help when it’s needed.

7: Drop the guilt.

Allow yourself to enjoy life, even if you are not in love with the past version of you. We all make mistakes. People can change and grow, so you don’t have to let your past hold you back. Most of us are raised with the wrong mentality, but you can break free from this thought prison and re-write your mental story.

Until next time, be well.

-The Indigo Phoenix